I Vow
by Rb
Summary: Makino Ruki makes a promise to herself and the world. [Set in the Sakuyamon episode; spoilers for up to that episode apply.]


Inspired by the Sakuyamon episode (ooh! pretty flower petals!) and by how nice Ruki has been in the last few eps. Is it just me, or has Digimon been getting really, really shoujo-animeish?   
  
I don't own Ruki. I did own a gothic Ruki kiss doll, but I deleted it. Actually, those aren't legal either. I just got my dad to do my tax forms, so wait for the refund to come back before bothering to sue. 

I Vow  
by Rb 

Ever since I was little, I've always foiled their expectations.   
  
They wanted to dress me up like a little doll. They wanted me to be quiet and docile. They had an image of who I should be, and they were pissed off to no end that I didn't follow that.  
  
I've never followed the paths other people put down for me. That's the sign of a dull and boring life, of a follower. I'm myself. I make my own paths -- and I don't care who knows it.   
  
I don't like the idea of destiny. I'm not anyone's puppet. I am me. I make my own choices. I don't want to ever need to run away when there's still something I can do.   
  
I won't let anyone choose for me. I won't let anyone say, "you can't do this." How can anyone decide for me what I can do? Idiots. I'm the one who decides for me, I always have been, I always will be.  
  
I'm a fighter. I always have been. I was always a loner, and I didn't mind -- being with people, caring about people, that could only make you weak, right?   
  
I was wrong, though. Yeah, caring about people gives you opportunities for weakness -- I can't imagine what I'd do if Renamon was in trouble, or Juri, or even Takato and the others. But if you allow yourself to work with other people, allowing your strengths to join and merge -- then something beautiful can be created. And it's worth being weak, I think, if that strength can be used for something good. Being strong for only the sake of being strong is worthless, after all.   
  
If you have no reason to fight, then fight for the sake of fighting. I used to believe that was true, but it can't be. You can't fight for nothing all the time. You can try, but it's like emptying the sea -- no matter how much water you move, there's still just as much to struggle against. That's a stupid way to go.   
  
I've learned now that the world is full of pain and hardship. It's full of people who can't find their own paths. I want to fight for their sake. It's a new dream which I just discovered, and it's full of such tenderness. I want to fight for other people. I want to help them.   
  
Like Juri. She's so sad now since Leomon died, and it tears me up. She's got such potential, I can't stand to see her so sad. I can't so anything for her...I hate being helpless, powerless. That's never an option I'd choose.   
  
Some people aren't like me, though. They don't realize that they can choose their destiny. They don't realize that they're not weak, that they can be strong if they choose. And it breaks me up to realize people can get so stuck in that trap of being wrapped in self-hatred and worthlessness that they feel as if they have no choice at all.   
  
I want to help the people who feel like that. I want to help them see the truth. I want that with more passion than I have wanted to anything in my entire life. I want to rid the world of the filth which makes them upset.  
  
I vow -- I will dedicate my life to helping others. I'm not going to stand by and let other people suffer if there's something to be done. That's the coward's way, the bystander's way -- and I'm nothing like that. I want to make a difference in people's lives. I know I can do it if I try.   
  
And I vow, right here and right now. I will choose my own destiny. I won't ever let myself be a coward. I will fight, for what I must do, no matter what the consequence is to myself. For those who would fight if they could only find their strength, I vow that I will fight.   
  
I, Makino Ruki, will always, always fight.   
  
~owari~  



End file.
